Actually i haven't planned on posting anything in there, but i need somewhere to tell about things happening in my head.
I don't even know where to start, have you ever felt emotionally numb? Like when you are not happy not sad not terrified or any others emotions? Because as long as I can remember i was like that since i got in a highschool, and as long i didn't want to upset people around me, i was just faking all my emotions. I even mastered at faking tears, so i can start crying anytime i want. All people around are thinking that I'm just very cheerful, and its been so long, that i didn't wanted to upset anyone by telling them the truth. But that month I've readed work of one of authors out there and it really made me feel sad and i cried after reading it. But i haven't felt emotions for so long that i already don't know, if they were the real emotions or i was just faking them for myself? And if they were real, then i don't them to happen, because i wouldn't be able to be that happy guy for everyone, and lack of emotions have it's positive side in choices being made without relying on them. So I am acting very strange after reading that work an i don't know what to do, as i couldn't tell anyone because i don't want to upset them and as they already have their own problems, why should I overload them with my own worries?
I think I'll better stop there before I haven't started falling into my thoughts.
But at the end i want to say, that if i am saying you some compliments, i am doing it from the bottom of my heart.