I've just got banned from my two favourite places and lost my bf, and that's all because i was more positive and opened than before, if being healthy is leading to this, than i want to be just a sick psycho with my thoughts being closed in my head without disturbing people around me, i want everything to be as it have been before, but it's not possible. I jate myself for being like this, i didn't wanted things around me to change, i knew that it will have bad consequences, but i just putted my desires above the other people, and just like every time i do it, everything gets worser and i just keep on being bad person.
I don't want to be emotional any more, i just want to be that fake guy everyone liked. I don't want to be like this.