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I am corpse
11 months ago
Forgive me, I'm going to share some seriously horrific traumatic shit. I am sorry to say I'm done drawing until further notice.
my now ex fiancee, lost his fking mind and held me captive in a box trailer in the rural town of Crystal NV, where he physically emotionally mentally and sexually abused me for the entire last year. Nearly killed me more than once.
He beat me in the back of my skull and its done something that's fked in my right arm through the nerves. It's been over a year now since and it doesn't get better. I can't hardly use it. And docs haven't been able to figure out what's causing it. It randomly spazes out, have no control over it, I can't feel anything, I can't even use chopsticks anymore.
It's been completely devastating...
I don't want to go into too much more cus it's still hard with everything that happened. I only managed to escape him January this year and I been all fked up in the mental since...
I'm sorry to everyone here who loves my art, I love you all, I miss you. I'm going to keep trying to find a fix.
my now ex fiancee, lost his fking mind and held me captive in a box trailer in the rural town of Crystal NV, where he physically emotionally mentally and sexually abused me for the entire last year. Nearly killed me more than once.
He beat me in the back of my skull and its done something that's fked in my right arm through the nerves. It's been over a year now since and it doesn't get better. I can't hardly use it. And docs haven't been able to figure out what's causing it. It randomly spazes out, have no control over it, I can't feel anything, I can't even use chopsticks anymore.
It's been completely devastating...
I don't want to go into too much more cus it's still hard with everything that happened. I only managed to escape him January this year and I been all fked up in the mental since...
I'm sorry to everyone here who loves my art, I love you all, I miss you. I'm going to keep trying to find a fix.
I am happy you are alive and here right now, and on a journey forward one scribble at a time.
It may take time to learn to draw again, but that is ok!
He's on a path that way tho.
But I'm states away now. And he's destroyed all his vehicle's and his bridges.
.
There's s nothing left of who he used to be.
He's not my problem anymore.
My problem is undoing all the DMG he did to me as much as possible . That's all.
We'll be happy to be a silly diversion as needed!
I also reconnected with one of the best boys I ever dated in HS, and he treats me like gold. So things are really starting to turn around.
It's just the slow process of recovering.
Im going through the anger stage of grief though. I hate that he took my arm away like this
please rest, recover, and do excercise to help yourself get back on your feet.
do whatever helps you feel comfortable. be well, honey!!!
That's a good wish to have. I just pray he meets his end sooner than later. He's Fkin Cujo now, he's turned into a literal psycho killer. He needs to be put away or put down. Whatever, as long as he is stopped from doing anymore damage...
I hope you're being safe and fed, sheltered, and at least in good health all things considered. You're still a valued friend, Jak. Never forget that!
I got more love and self worth for myself than I ever had in my whole life. I have been volunteering as a narcissistic abuse recovery coach to help others get out of these situations now. Using what happened to me to save others. So at least some light has come of it.
Lemons to lemonaid don't do it justice.
Wishing you a healthy recovery, in terms of mental and physical.
Yes, I agree. I thank God and my friends that got me out. Every day.
I loved him more than anything in this world. I went through all that trying everything to save him, snap him back. I watched him fall, powerless to do anything.
I miss who he used to be so much. But that person died that day. There was never any saving him. The parts of his brain that made him the person I loved were gone...
Its been hard, but I consider him already dead.
Brain damage is some really serious shit. I warn people now, if they got someone sick with a fever and they are trying to say wait on an ambulance. DON'T. Cus they could destroy their brain the same way.
I'm doing everything I can. I won't let the demon wearing his skin win. I survived. I don't see myself as a victim, I see myself as a survivor. It really truly only gave me my power back. There ain't anything in this world that I can't face now. And no one will ever treat me that way again
It's not much, but I'm here for you if you need to kick down the door of someone's DMs (I believe you have my discord if you can/want to access that).
I believe I am, I know I am. My God has pulled me through this, and given me new life. I got this, I got me. Nothin going to stop me anymore from overcoming all this on top.
It's just a process, and the stages of grief. Gotta go through it. But I've crawled out of hell back to the light. And I feel more alive now than ever. I just gotta find a way to fix my fking arm and I'll really bounce back.
I can only hope things start to look up from here on out!
Please do keep in touch and let us know how we can help <3
Thank you friend, I missed you. Love you. Appreciate you. ❤️
I can never forgive him for what he has done, to me and our son. As long as he never takes accountability for what he has done.
You told some things when you shortly were able to escape, but that...wow.
I am "happy" to hear that you're out now. All the best for the arm...and all :/
They released him only a week later and he's still just running around, destroying everything.
He also killed our son back in may 2020. And they have the evidence.
Nye county is crooked AF. My family and I are trying to get higher authority involved on the case now.
He lied, he broke all his promises, but he always made good on his threats.
I found out he did try to find me a couple times, but now he doesn't have any means of transportation, I finally felt safe enough to have my mom come get me and bring me back to WA. I been in and out of the hospital ever since.
I went from pleased to hear from you seeing your name pop up in the journals to heartbroken, I'm so sorry that happened. I wish you the best in your recovery, that's so much to go through
I hope you can take time to breathe, after all that
Thank you frien, I appreciate you ❤️
I'm really glad you are free of your ordeal. I have no idea what to say, other than I hope you are able to heal both physically and emotionally.
I'm really glad you are free of your ordeal. I have no idea what to say, other than I hope you are able to heal both physically and emotionally. If you can, even if you dont post art, try to keep in touch here. I suspect more than I wondered what had happened to you and are glad you are back
Thank you so much! I'll be around. Keep y'all posted. I'm going to beat this. I want to draw again.
This is crazy ...
Thank you frien, I appreciate you ❤️
In any case, my sincere wishes for you that everything will work out...
<3
That I managed to be the 1 character that survived is pretty awesome though. Not to brag *cough*
Thank you for being such a good friend in my life. I was actually just talking about you a couple days ago. ❤️
I'm going to pm you my new number.
I wish you a speedy recovery, and may your ex meet their master any day soon.
I know this is a serious issue but I was worried about you for a whole
year. Now I understand what has happened, and I'm not lying when I say
I thought about you every. single. day.
Fuck...please get help and reach out, seriously.
I am not even sure how to respond to all this, as an apology I
feel wouldn't even be enough.
I do pray you recover though, and somehow get back on your feet.
You are one hell of a strong individual.
It really breaks my heart to see what’s happened since and I hope that they got whatever comes to them. You were, and honestly still are, a huge inspiration to me regarding art, and you were so incredibly supportive and kind whenever I’d ask you for any tips or advice or feedback.
I hope you heal in all ways physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and that you find peace. I do hope that you’ll one day be able to continue art, and I look forward to it with great anticipation.
They finally pursued the charges against him for what he did to me. And he's back in jail awaiting trial. Originally was going to have to fly down there to testify for a prelim, but when he heard I was actually in contact he dropped his rights to a speedy trial and lawered up like a coward. Which is fine tho, cus now they don't need me for awhile if at all. I hope he rots in there too.
It's been hard sorting through the truama and what I feel. I'm Barely a year out. Still grieving, but im healing.
I saw a post about your son too and my heart breaks for you... do you have outlets for healing?
It's nuts to think how things change in a matter of a year or two.