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Even more bad news (yes again)
a day ago
Sorry, but you are all my friends. It's only fair I keep you as updated as I can. Even if that means more upsetting information about me.
I just learned more things. My Grandpa has cancer. But! But.. I also learned, the non-life-threatening kind. So for the past few weeks some of his transport appointments have been taking him to go get scans done on his neck, which is where it is. Now here's the shit... what I just learned now about the future is eventually he's going to get "radiation treatments" or whatever done. This results in him needing to be seen every 5 days. The conclusion? I'll be honest along for a week. Maybe.. multiple weeks Idfk. Reason? Instead of him paying $240 for his rides every time (yes this is true) they have a place up there where they're doing the tests to keep him in a motel I think I heard. So I'm going to be alone... for a long time eventually.
This is not even including the fact that my Uncle is quitting his job. Moreso now due to this and losing his income; you know, money he, and everyone who has a damn job, needs.
Others include the fact that yes my Grandpa has been, to me unknowingly, paying for his appointments for the past half a year or over. $240 each. Which is an issue because the economy is fucked. I get the impression that "oh you can't pay us, we can't help you. So you can go die" yes that's how I feel. He's lucky he's retired and earning monthly payment due to disability, because paying over $200.. just for rides?! That not right. For any patient. Some weeks he pays over $700 because of having that many appointments. Yeah. It's stupid... but he does it. And they require him to.
Constant Physical Therapy arriving. This wouldn't be an issue anymore.. if I had to constantly wake up for it and spend an hour outside with these Dogs. I don't even know if he pays for that either.
No job myself. No insurance myself. No driving license myself. I got NOTHING still.
Watching over jackass annoying animals that bark at walls because of one little thing. Never getting one day of peace in this house.
Still needing to go through my Mother's probate, get myself an Eventual license (which I am studying a manual now for that future), do something with her truck and contact the insurance company about how she's no longer... you know, getting myself on health insurance, and still wanting to go through our storage unit.
And you know what the worst part is? I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER
I want to punch a screen. Tear down a tree. Break shit. I've had enough! You all know this!
Although things are still "stable" for me, yes... there's still more shit piling on...
I'm ending it there. The main point of this new journal was the first paragraph describing the new information I received about Grandpa's cancer and what they're gonna do. And, of course, what that means for me here... ever since I made that one journal months ago saying I've been trying to look more positive about things? Change my tone? Be better? All that? So let me ask you this. How am I supposed to remain happy about life still when complete and udder bs like this is still happening to me? To this family? Tell me... I have been trying to do my best to be the friend you guys want to see. And I still am... but I can't just suppress what I feel is important information all the time. I can't just keep you all in the dark if things get better or worse. You have a right to be updated with me. At the same time... it doesn't always mean positive things. I'm still trying my best all, but it's becoming difficult; to keep pretending everything is fine.
I just learned more things. My Grandpa has cancer. But! But.. I also learned, the non-life-threatening kind. So for the past few weeks some of his transport appointments have been taking him to go get scans done on his neck, which is where it is. Now here's the shit... what I just learned now about the future is eventually he's going to get "radiation treatments" or whatever done. This results in him needing to be seen every 5 days. The conclusion? I'll be honest along for a week. Maybe.. multiple weeks Idfk. Reason? Instead of him paying $240 for his rides every time (yes this is true) they have a place up there where they're doing the tests to keep him in a motel I think I heard. So I'm going to be alone... for a long time eventually.
This is not even including the fact that my Uncle is quitting his job. Moreso now due to this and losing his income; you know, money he, and everyone who has a damn job, needs.
Others include the fact that yes my Grandpa has been, to me unknowingly, paying for his appointments for the past half a year or over. $240 each. Which is an issue because the economy is fucked. I get the impression that "oh you can't pay us, we can't help you. So you can go die" yes that's how I feel. He's lucky he's retired and earning monthly payment due to disability, because paying over $200.. just for rides?! That not right. For any patient. Some weeks he pays over $700 because of having that many appointments. Yeah. It's stupid... but he does it. And they require him to.
Constant Physical Therapy arriving. This wouldn't be an issue anymore.. if I had to constantly wake up for it and spend an hour outside with these Dogs. I don't even know if he pays for that either.
No job myself. No insurance myself. No driving license myself. I got NOTHING still.
Watching over jackass annoying animals that bark at walls because of one little thing. Never getting one day of peace in this house.
Still needing to go through my Mother's probate, get myself an Eventual license (which I am studying a manual now for that future), do something with her truck and contact the insurance company about how she's no longer... you know, getting myself on health insurance, and still wanting to go through our storage unit.
And you know what the worst part is? I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER
I want to punch a screen. Tear down a tree. Break shit. I've had enough! You all know this!
Although things are still "stable" for me, yes... there's still more shit piling on...
I'm ending it there. The main point of this new journal was the first paragraph describing the new information I received about Grandpa's cancer and what they're gonna do. And, of course, what that means for me here... ever since I made that one journal months ago saying I've been trying to look more positive about things? Change my tone? Be better? All that? So let me ask you this. How am I supposed to remain happy about life still when complete and udder bs like this is still happening to me? To this family? Tell me... I have been trying to do my best to be the friend you guys want to see. And I still am... but I can't just suppress what I feel is important information all the time. I can't just keep you all in the dark if things get better or worse. You have a right to be updated with me. At the same time... it doesn't always mean positive things. I'm still trying my best all, but it's becoming difficult; to keep pretending everything is fine.
