FA+
Shop
Falling Apart
6 years ago
I'd meant to do a second quarter report to everyone at the start of the month but was so busy I never got around to it. So here's what's happening now.
The start of the month was looking great. Then shit hit the fan. Bills came back in force. Part of that problem is that my ISP has been double billing me for months and because I was already behind I didn't notice it. I owe $200 tomorrow or the city shuts off our power. I owe another $875 for rent on the 1st, and I have a whopping $180 to my name. Not to mention that I owe people a fuck ton of money and art that I have no idea how I'm going to settle now.
I just snapped viciously at my best customer and I'm having a total meltdown at my wife over messenger. I've barely been eating, having made my one meal today two hotdog buns. I'm in agonizing pain and everything is overwhelming. I've tried so hard to keep up with everything but I'm drowning. At this point I'm not even sure why I should keep going.
Life is bad for me despite my best efforts. I'm a failure.
The year doesn't look like it's going to improve and so it's unlikely I'll post another one of these updates for...as long as I can think of. Not that it even matters since I haven't uploaded anything in ages so people probably don't care.
The start of the month was looking great. Then shit hit the fan. Bills came back in force. Part of that problem is that my ISP has been double billing me for months and because I was already behind I didn't notice it. I owe $200 tomorrow or the city shuts off our power. I owe another $875 for rent on the 1st, and I have a whopping $180 to my name. Not to mention that I owe people a fuck ton of money and art that I have no idea how I'm going to settle now.
I just snapped viciously at my best customer and I'm having a total meltdown at my wife over messenger. I've barely been eating, having made my one meal today two hotdog buns. I'm in agonizing pain and everything is overwhelming. I've tried so hard to keep up with everything but I'm drowning. At this point I'm not even sure why I should keep going.
Life is bad for me despite my best efforts. I'm a failure.
The year doesn't look like it's going to improve and so it's unlikely I'll post another one of these updates for...as long as I can think of. Not that it even matters since I haven't uploaded anything in ages so people probably don't care.
You may need a break, if you sit and stare at an issue, it doesn't get fixed and you're too frustrated to think properly. A small reprieve might help you rethink and try to tackle your issues one at a time. Also you need to eat, even if it's a small meal, something is better than nothing.
Perhaps a GoFundMe for the bills? I know they can be hectic, you have to break it down in order of importance. Start with the most important thing, then work your way down. Slowly, one step at a time. It'll be okay, just stop and breathe. Reset it back to zero, then try again. I'm sure your customers understand. Try to work on the biggest problem first then break down the others in time.
I hope it helps.
Above all, you are NOT a failure. Believe me, we all get fucked on bills, we just gotta do the best we can. It's all we can do. I'm sure people will understand.
first is your life and your conditions D:
I've stopped selling art, it only ever moved when I was at a convention... hell I've even removed myself from furries all together for the most part right now.
But while away I found a solution. You will too.
I'm so sorry you are going through tough times irl. Unfortunately, life just likes to shit on us sometimes. I've been going through a similar struggle myself, and please just know that you aren't alone. You should take a much needed mental break.
Take some time to stop and smell the flowers. Try to see what is amazing about your life, cause something's definitely there. As for the customer, apologize for the outburst and explain what's going on with you... you may be surprised what they say! Please try to keep your head up.
I am immensely sad that your life has gotten to this point. You seen like a real nice guy that some pretty bad stuff's been happening to. I don't know if this is an option, and it'll probably be shitty if it is: I think that a day job and a break from commissions might be something you need. Food and shelter that you don't have to worry about is the most important thing.
You'll get through this. I'd bet on it. Best of luck to you!
If even 1/20 of your watchers donated even just $1 each, that could maybe help you get some breathing room to get caught up on bills.
Hang in there, man. :3
I've thought about it but haven't got a clue about how to go about it. I'll try to watch some tutorials later tonight.