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A review on 2022
3 years ago
Hey there
I apologize for not being as active this year. After being able to maintain a job for more than a year, it has had ups and downs. Still, I'm stable enough to continue with most of my normal living situations and healthcare (including mental health). Still, the busy schedule and my urges to play video games have kept me away from the drawing tablet, and with it, many projects I had in mind, heavily delayed. Its kinda why I have never compromised myself to do commissioned artwork, as much as some wish I would, as I tend to be more side tracked on these issues and not be able to complete them within a reasonable time frame. I want to extend a big thank you, to all the people who have supported me, through all this time, mainly as emotional support, as I have had to deal with the ghosts of my pasts.
The year 2022 was definitely a year to consider, since it has been a full year since many of the COVID regulations, worldwide, have lessened and allowed for better socialization IRL. While I applaud the people who have done everything they could to keep the spread of the disease at bay, and even taking time to recover should they have been affected, I'm also very much disappointed on those who preach their knowledge of the diseases and being healthy, while not really practicing healthy habits in public places, including keeping their masks on when sick.
But, probably what made last year a bit harder to deal with is... well... what I consider 2022 the "Year of Unfriending". Sadly, I have seen many people I have known, cared and loved, suddenly being called out, on public media, on behavior that have been very much abhorrent. While I applaud the courage of the people who brought these events to light, I'm also left hurt and empathetic on the side of the people on the other end. I, myself, have been branded an abomination, by people I cared and loved for many years. Yet, the only difference, is that my own case isn't as bad as the other people who were called out. Mine, is pretty much a behavior that stems to be asking more for attention. Yet, the "friends" I used to know have twisted it to consider it as gaslighting. I know that I have issues with my own behavior. As such, after a very severe case of depressive (because of them), I took their words and decided to keep working on improving my own behavior. Even if it means that they will never forgive me, mend our friendship, or even that news of my progress reaches them.
For the people that were called out, I wish they could also use my own experience as wisdom they could use, for they need to accept that they themselves have a problem with their own behavior. That it has caused others to be hurt. Some are waiting for you to tell them, specifically and directly, that you are not just sorry for what happened, but that you are going to use that criticism, and work on bettering yourselves. Still, hearing on all of these broken friendships, how some people are even unwilling to talk things out... simply puts a painful hole in my heart.
I have hoped that in light of the holidays, some of these people would even try to reach out and talk... but I was painfully proven right that I was just wasting my time, and they will never look to me on a brighter light. Sometimes, I wish I could call them out publicly. But, I know that as popufur streamers and artists, I fear the backlash, especially from the people I know and love. It's really hard, since a lot of people praise them regularly. And... here I am... someone that they have (willingly or not) shut down and intimidated to never speak of, about and against them. They will continue to haunt me in my nightmares.
On a brighter side, on 2022 I managed to be at 2 Furcons: Furnal Equinox (FE) and Midwest FurFest (MFF). I was glad to meet so many good people. Even got surprised on some people I admire. Be it streamers, artists, or in any particular job they do, I'm glad to have met them and I can only hope that we can all get along and hang out more. Most importantly, for the friendships to remain strong, even in the face of adversity. The hugs and well wishes to everyone I have met... I will cherish them.
Thank you all for you time. I don't know how this year will impact me, but I will continue doing my best to improve my behavior. These things take time, and, as any mortal, we trip, we fall, and sometimes, need help getting back up. I also hope, for the many who still consider me a friend, that we can keep talking things through, or at least, just keep each other updated. Most likely, I will continue my game streams on an irregular basis on Twitch. Due to my own ways of doing art (and to prevent any strike outs by Twitch), I will give Picarto a try, so I can continue doing art streams on a safer and more controlled atmosphere. I hope that this new year bring all better opportunities, for there to be healing of wounds and the courage to take a step in a better direction.
I apologize for not being as active this year. After being able to maintain a job for more than a year, it has had ups and downs. Still, I'm stable enough to continue with most of my normal living situations and healthcare (including mental health). Still, the busy schedule and my urges to play video games have kept me away from the drawing tablet, and with it, many projects I had in mind, heavily delayed. Its kinda why I have never compromised myself to do commissioned artwork, as much as some wish I would, as I tend to be more side tracked on these issues and not be able to complete them within a reasonable time frame. I want to extend a big thank you, to all the people who have supported me, through all this time, mainly as emotional support, as I have had to deal with the ghosts of my pasts.
The year 2022 was definitely a year to consider, since it has been a full year since many of the COVID regulations, worldwide, have lessened and allowed for better socialization IRL. While I applaud the people who have done everything they could to keep the spread of the disease at bay, and even taking time to recover should they have been affected, I'm also very much disappointed on those who preach their knowledge of the diseases and being healthy, while not really practicing healthy habits in public places, including keeping their masks on when sick.
But, probably what made last year a bit harder to deal with is... well... what I consider 2022 the "Year of Unfriending". Sadly, I have seen many people I have known, cared and loved, suddenly being called out, on public media, on behavior that have been very much abhorrent. While I applaud the courage of the people who brought these events to light, I'm also left hurt and empathetic on the side of the people on the other end. I, myself, have been branded an abomination, by people I cared and loved for many years. Yet, the only difference, is that my own case isn't as bad as the other people who were called out. Mine, is pretty much a behavior that stems to be asking more for attention. Yet, the "friends" I used to know have twisted it to consider it as gaslighting. I know that I have issues with my own behavior. As such, after a very severe case of depressive (because of them), I took their words and decided to keep working on improving my own behavior. Even if it means that they will never forgive me, mend our friendship, or even that news of my progress reaches them.
For the people that were called out, I wish they could also use my own experience as wisdom they could use, for they need to accept that they themselves have a problem with their own behavior. That it has caused others to be hurt. Some are waiting for you to tell them, specifically and directly, that you are not just sorry for what happened, but that you are going to use that criticism, and work on bettering yourselves. Still, hearing on all of these broken friendships, how some people are even unwilling to talk things out... simply puts a painful hole in my heart.
I have hoped that in light of the holidays, some of these people would even try to reach out and talk... but I was painfully proven right that I was just wasting my time, and they will never look to me on a brighter light. Sometimes, I wish I could call them out publicly. But, I know that as popufur streamers and artists, I fear the backlash, especially from the people I know and love. It's really hard, since a lot of people praise them regularly. And... here I am... someone that they have (willingly or not) shut down and intimidated to never speak of, about and against them. They will continue to haunt me in my nightmares.
On a brighter side, on 2022 I managed to be at 2 Furcons: Furnal Equinox (FE) and Midwest FurFest (MFF). I was glad to meet so many good people. Even got surprised on some people I admire. Be it streamers, artists, or in any particular job they do, I'm glad to have met them and I can only hope that we can all get along and hang out more. Most importantly, for the friendships to remain strong, even in the face of adversity. The hugs and well wishes to everyone I have met... I will cherish them.
Thank you all for you time. I don't know how this year will impact me, but I will continue doing my best to improve my behavior. These things take time, and, as any mortal, we trip, we fall, and sometimes, need help getting back up. I also hope, for the many who still consider me a friend, that we can keep talking things through, or at least, just keep each other updated. Most likely, I will continue my game streams on an irregular basis on Twitch. Due to my own ways of doing art (and to prevent any strike outs by Twitch), I will give Picarto a try, so I can continue doing art streams on a safer and more controlled atmosphere. I hope that this new year bring all better opportunities, for there to be healing of wounds and the courage to take a step in a better direction.
