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I attended my first furry convention!
a year ago
This is one for the record, for sure! This past weekend, I finally attended not only my first furry convention, but my first ever convention in general; Fursonacon in Newport News Virginia! This a little bit of a tale and I will probably have a bit to say, so get comfy...
In October of 2022, The Delver's Guide to Beat World launched on kickstarter, and I don't remember how I found it, but all I remember is that I was on board immediately and got involved in their little community. In a way, Heartleaf has been my gateway into getting more involved in the furry community. In August of 2023, when things were expected to ship out, I inquired about picking up my stuff locally, seeing as their office is only an hour away. That ignited the idea of a whole local meet-up, and about 12 of us showed up to hang out and have a picnic, which Cullen burned many hot dogs. Now, while there, I was of course going to have them sign my book, but I was assured that they already did. Foolish of me, I decided not to check. Opening my box and opening up the book when I got home, I was disappointed to find out that it wasn't signed after all. Come November, I learned that Heartleaf games were the guests of honor at Fursonacon next year, and what kind of started as a joke to chase them down to get signatures, unbeknownst to me at the time, turned into a journey that I didn't realize that would quite frankly change my life; a little joke would turn into something so, so much more!
I wasn't sure for a while, booking my hotel in February of 2024, and only finally registering for 'god level' in May. First convention, I figured i'd go full send! Long story short, it was incredibly worth it! For months leading up to the convention, I was incredibly worried, anxious, excited, and was wondering if I was regretting my decision. I have always struggled with social anxiety to a very high degree, and although I had been working on it the past few years, this felt like another monster entirely, but it's something I really wanted to do in order to break free of those chains! I was about to drive 9 hours, 3 of which with a stranger, to a hotel to share a room with a stranger, and be in a building far from home full of people I don't know. But, as I was talking to people in discord and telegram, getting to know everyone beforehand, I was slowly getting more and more comfortable. 8 months went by very fast, and before I knew it, it was time to start driving! The guy I picked up was one of the coolest dudes I could have met, and we had a lot in common, with much great conversation being had. The more nerving part was meeting up with my roommate. Once we checked in, I was dead. Sat down in the lobby for a while, and actually bumped into another Delver, also from New York! Had a chat which helped get me going, then after a little confusion, my roommate and I finally met up and went to the room to get set up, and get to know one another a little bit. Being that I was hundreds of miles from home, alone, I don't know what I was thinking sharing a room to begin with, but I love the people in this community and was confident that they wouldn't be a bad apple...and saving money was desirable. I honestly don't think I could have had shared a room with anyone better! He and I clicked so damn well, we just could not stop talking at the end of the day. It was like we already had a trusting bond that was built on a lifetime! Between them, the Delver's, hanging out with folks who were in the god level, I think I can happily say that I made a few friends, on top of meeting lot of wonderful people. One thing I learned too is how easy it seems to be to make connections and how fast word gets around. I found out later from the guy I picked up on the way down, who decided to volunteer, that I was apparently someone being talked about a little bit. It was interesting to experience, because on the last two days, I was having people recognizing my badge and approach me to say hello. Going back to my social anxiety, and thinking back, it's crazy how it wasn't very prevalent. Everyone at the convention was as friendly and welcoming as they are online, brining a certain comfort to the atmosphere. Not a single person felt like a stranger.
Speaking on people i've met, probably the one that got me the most excited is a fursuit maker! I was thinking about it for a few months prior and found someone who fits pretty much identical to what I was looking for. Lost him the first few days, but finally bumped into him the last day and inquired about the maker! Funny chain of events, I found my roommate and told him, who asked why I didn't get a picture. So, an hour later I searched him out, only to find that he was with a group of friends and got a picture of them all. Well, the one guy there honestly fit was I was looking for that much more, and got their information too, getting more details afterwards. Currently, I am now on his waitlist for my first ever fursuit! Being a hobby maker, I will be waiting for quite a while, but it will no doubt be well worth it!
Considering the convention itself, I didn't really know what to expect going in. I packed clothes for the weekend, had money to spend, and printed out a schedule with things highlighted that I was interested in. Honestly, I wonder if maybe I was trying to do a little too much and should have done a little more 'going with the flow', as it were. On friday, things went great, but I had cleaned up and changed, got into bed, and went to review the schedule for saturday...which began in 10 minutes, and I wanted to go to the next two panels! Sleep deprived on saturday, I once more pushed to do everything I wanted to do, anxiety was high, and I was overwhelmed with stimulation! Despite trying to keep it contained, and my wonderful roommate being very comforting, which helped a lot, I did eventually have an emotional breakdown. Going into sunday in general was very emotional, but I think by the end of the day I had come to terms with the circumstances, pushing the despair aside, and was able to reflect on the weekend in a positive light. Even saying goodbye, although difficult, and I was very reluctant to leave, the fur who was carpooling with me helped keep my mind in check, telling me "Soon there will be nothing here, so there's no reason to stick around." After chasing some folks down, Heartleaf and thanking the con chairman, Tyr, it was a long and heartfelt goodbye to my roommate, mostly because we couldn't stop talking again. He is for sure one of many that I will miss, but likewise, one of many I hope to keep in touch with forever.
Overall, the convention was an incredible mix of emotions leading up to, during, and afterwards. The drive home for sure allowed me to process everything that I experienced, so by the time I arrived home and exhausted, I feel like my mind was at ease. It was so strange though, that as I was trying to sleep after such an active weekend, it's like I kept getting flashbacks, hearing crowds of people, fursuiters walking around, artists scribbling away, and it was like I was back from where I just came from. Not dreaming, but more like hallucinating, if that makes sense. Fun fact, the shirt I got from god tier is the first graphic t-shirt i've owned in about 12 years! But waking up, I thought that maybe I would be lost, not really knowing what to do, but instead I hopped online and started talking to people. I think it really helped me sort of acclimate back to "reality", as it were. I don't like saying that though, because what I experienced was very real, but for that weekend, I didn't think about anything from regular day-to-day life. I was focused purely on the community and desired nothing else. When I finally arrived home and I woke up later that day, I felt lost. My first thought was that I wanted to go downstairs and start talking to mingling with people, so I was instead just walking around for a while unsure of what to do. Not wanting to do much of anything, I opened discord and telegram and started talking with everyone. All while writing this journal, it's helped air out my thoughts so much and made the 'post-con depression', I guess, manageable. I was already thinking about it a few times during the weekend, and once i've gotten home, I am already planning my next convention.
For a long time I think I've been struggling to find a place where I really belong and relate to, people I can always trust and rely on. The small friend groups i've always been a part of, although I love them a lot, has been the same stuff for years on end! I'm growing and changing as a person, and although I will always enjoy those things, I desire more. I want to meet new people, and I want to find that clique that I belong to. I think after so long, and after 7 years since officially calling myself a furry (2017), I think I finally found it. This is it. These are my people!
In October of 2022, The Delver's Guide to Beat World launched on kickstarter, and I don't remember how I found it, but all I remember is that I was on board immediately and got involved in their little community. In a way, Heartleaf has been my gateway into getting more involved in the furry community. In August of 2023, when things were expected to ship out, I inquired about picking up my stuff locally, seeing as their office is only an hour away. That ignited the idea of a whole local meet-up, and about 12 of us showed up to hang out and have a picnic, which Cullen burned many hot dogs. Now, while there, I was of course going to have them sign my book, but I was assured that they already did. Foolish of me, I decided not to check. Opening my box and opening up the book when I got home, I was disappointed to find out that it wasn't signed after all. Come November, I learned that Heartleaf games were the guests of honor at Fursonacon next year, and what kind of started as a joke to chase them down to get signatures, unbeknownst to me at the time, turned into a journey that I didn't realize that would quite frankly change my life; a little joke would turn into something so, so much more!
I wasn't sure for a while, booking my hotel in February of 2024, and only finally registering for 'god level' in May. First convention, I figured i'd go full send! Long story short, it was incredibly worth it! For months leading up to the convention, I was incredibly worried, anxious, excited, and was wondering if I was regretting my decision. I have always struggled with social anxiety to a very high degree, and although I had been working on it the past few years, this felt like another monster entirely, but it's something I really wanted to do in order to break free of those chains! I was about to drive 9 hours, 3 of which with a stranger, to a hotel to share a room with a stranger, and be in a building far from home full of people I don't know. But, as I was talking to people in discord and telegram, getting to know everyone beforehand, I was slowly getting more and more comfortable. 8 months went by very fast, and before I knew it, it was time to start driving! The guy I picked up was one of the coolest dudes I could have met, and we had a lot in common, with much great conversation being had. The more nerving part was meeting up with my roommate. Once we checked in, I was dead. Sat down in the lobby for a while, and actually bumped into another Delver, also from New York! Had a chat which helped get me going, then after a little confusion, my roommate and I finally met up and went to the room to get set up, and get to know one another a little bit. Being that I was hundreds of miles from home, alone, I don't know what I was thinking sharing a room to begin with, but I love the people in this community and was confident that they wouldn't be a bad apple...and saving money was desirable. I honestly don't think I could have had shared a room with anyone better! He and I clicked so damn well, we just could not stop talking at the end of the day. It was like we already had a trusting bond that was built on a lifetime! Between them, the Delver's, hanging out with folks who were in the god level, I think I can happily say that I made a few friends, on top of meeting lot of wonderful people. One thing I learned too is how easy it seems to be to make connections and how fast word gets around. I found out later from the guy I picked up on the way down, who decided to volunteer, that I was apparently someone being talked about a little bit. It was interesting to experience, because on the last two days, I was having people recognizing my badge and approach me to say hello. Going back to my social anxiety, and thinking back, it's crazy how it wasn't very prevalent. Everyone at the convention was as friendly and welcoming as they are online, brining a certain comfort to the atmosphere. Not a single person felt like a stranger.
Speaking on people i've met, probably the one that got me the most excited is a fursuit maker! I was thinking about it for a few months prior and found someone who fits pretty much identical to what I was looking for. Lost him the first few days, but finally bumped into him the last day and inquired about the maker! Funny chain of events, I found my roommate and told him, who asked why I didn't get a picture. So, an hour later I searched him out, only to find that he was with a group of friends and got a picture of them all. Well, the one guy there honestly fit was I was looking for that much more, and got their information too, getting more details afterwards. Currently, I am now on his waitlist for my first ever fursuit! Being a hobby maker, I will be waiting for quite a while, but it will no doubt be well worth it!
Considering the convention itself, I didn't really know what to expect going in. I packed clothes for the weekend, had money to spend, and printed out a schedule with things highlighted that I was interested in. Honestly, I wonder if maybe I was trying to do a little too much and should have done a little more 'going with the flow', as it were. On friday, things went great, but I had cleaned up and changed, got into bed, and went to review the schedule for saturday...which began in 10 minutes, and I wanted to go to the next two panels! Sleep deprived on saturday, I once more pushed to do everything I wanted to do, anxiety was high, and I was overwhelmed with stimulation! Despite trying to keep it contained, and my wonderful roommate being very comforting, which helped a lot, I did eventually have an emotional breakdown. Going into sunday in general was very emotional, but I think by the end of the day I had come to terms with the circumstances, pushing the despair aside, and was able to reflect on the weekend in a positive light. Even saying goodbye, although difficult, and I was very reluctant to leave, the fur who was carpooling with me helped keep my mind in check, telling me "Soon there will be nothing here, so there's no reason to stick around." After chasing some folks down, Heartleaf and thanking the con chairman, Tyr, it was a long and heartfelt goodbye to my roommate, mostly because we couldn't stop talking again. He is for sure one of many that I will miss, but likewise, one of many I hope to keep in touch with forever.
Overall, the convention was an incredible mix of emotions leading up to, during, and afterwards. The drive home for sure allowed me to process everything that I experienced, so by the time I arrived home and exhausted, I feel like my mind was at ease. It was so strange though, that as I was trying to sleep after such an active weekend, it's like I kept getting flashbacks, hearing crowds of people, fursuiters walking around, artists scribbling away, and it was like I was back from where I just came from. Not dreaming, but more like hallucinating, if that makes sense. Fun fact, the shirt I got from god tier is the first graphic t-shirt i've owned in about 12 years! But waking up, I thought that maybe I would be lost, not really knowing what to do, but instead I hopped online and started talking to people. I think it really helped me sort of acclimate back to "reality", as it were. I don't like saying that though, because what I experienced was very real, but for that weekend, I didn't think about anything from regular day-to-day life. I was focused purely on the community and desired nothing else. When I finally arrived home and I woke up later that day, I felt lost. My first thought was that I wanted to go downstairs and start talking to mingling with people, so I was instead just walking around for a while unsure of what to do. Not wanting to do much of anything, I opened discord and telegram and started talking with everyone. All while writing this journal, it's helped air out my thoughts so much and made the 'post-con depression', I guess, manageable. I was already thinking about it a few times during the weekend, and once i've gotten home, I am already planning my next convention.
For a long time I think I've been struggling to find a place where I really belong and relate to, people I can always trust and rely on. The small friend groups i've always been a part of, although I love them a lot, has been the same stuff for years on end! I'm growing and changing as a person, and although I will always enjoy those things, I desire more. I want to meet new people, and I want to find that clique that I belong to. I think after so long, and after 7 years since officially calling myself a furry (2017), I think I finally found it. This is it. These are my people!
It for sure was amazing, and y'all did a sensational job running it! I was told by many going in that it was a great first convention, and I am so happy that everyone was right. As I told Tyr, I don't know if I could have imagined a better first experience!
I will for sure try my damndest to come back for as many years as I can too! I'm for sure not kidding when I say that this con changed my life, I really feel like I have finally discovered myself.
Although, if anything, I mostly thank Heartleaf for that! Honestly wasn't much thought behind the choice, because I just kind of decided to chase them. Lol. But I will for sure hope and try to come back year after year. You guys surely have something special, and I can't wait to watch it continue to grow!