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Looking up in March
5 years ago
Well, So far things are still so-so for me.
While I have managed to start looking for a job, it has been hard for me to accept certain offers that live so far from me. I don't own a car, and the public transportation towards those areas leave you quite... isolated. Also, it ain't easy for me to look for a proper affordable place to rent. While I'm not considered that old, but so much passed through my life that I haven't learned stuff that ppl younger than me are going through. Back to the main subject, have a possible place to be hired, but its gonna ride on the working interview on Tuesday. If not, got 2 other places to try that already sent me an invitation for an interview. Kinda sucks that in the animal health field, we are still not even considered on par with "human" care, hence were often asked for more work, more days, and less time for ourselves. Which is why I'm kinda keeping the search bar more refined.
On the artistic side, seems like I'm making progress in learning not just more on my digital art program, but on how to handle my graphics tablet, and even some regular art exercises. Progress has been a bit slow but to me juggling with other life issues and game streaming. Have been trying to stream my art progress, mainly on Twitch, since I'm gamer as well. Kinda also looking at other arts on the sides to improve my own style. Hopefully will move on to a whole different project, but hardly to the project I have in mind. Mostly cuz of juggling career stuff. But will make an effort to turn that part of my dream into reality. As such, only for practicing, am keeping my commission stuff open (while I don't expect ppl to take em until I start showing more).
On my furry side, slowing getting anxious to my first fur con at FE. I So far i only know 1 fur IRL, but we don't live close enough. Stuck on emotional dilemma since I would like to meet many furs I have come to watch for ages, but kinda not setting a bar too high. For me, friendship and stuff has always been an issue for me. Mostly cuz I lived my life not fitting in any of the groups and cultures I have been. Combined with a overdue diagnosis of ADHD (adding to some other emotional trauma, which I'm seeing a therapist), can't say that I'm kinda scared that I may end up more isolated because of the way I am. Especially since in many ways, I don't want to be a bother to others. However, I chose to make this new step. The first step is always the hardest one. If anything am trying to get over is my immense self-doubt and low self-worth. I still have time, and I'm still alive. Maybe its not an ideal world, but "we build it up every day, step by step".
At the very least, to turn this on a positive note, have been doing my best to support other furries, be it game or art streamers, as much as I can. Trying also to connect to other furries through the same way. At the very least seeing what they can do through other streaming services like Picarto. Or just enjoy some chat/movie time on Discord or Kast (even though I just mostly silently lurk... kinda my 2nd nature). Still, when I know my help and support has bore fruit, I still feel happy that I took part, even though a small one. Although, am also hoping just to get a slight level of support back, mostly for FE. Placed a donation bar on my streams, at least until I can secure a job. I'm a good saver, so am not in deep red, but still... no income hurts... especially when eating costs.
Anyways, sorry for a bit of a vent, but trying also to be a more active in the furry community. I will try to offer as much support and a paw whenever I get a chance. For those going to FE, hope to see you there.
(PS: if this job interview is a no go, I may try to get to BLFC... if I can find good prices)
While I have managed to start looking for a job, it has been hard for me to accept certain offers that live so far from me. I don't own a car, and the public transportation towards those areas leave you quite... isolated. Also, it ain't easy for me to look for a proper affordable place to rent. While I'm not considered that old, but so much passed through my life that I haven't learned stuff that ppl younger than me are going through. Back to the main subject, have a possible place to be hired, but its gonna ride on the working interview on Tuesday. If not, got 2 other places to try that already sent me an invitation for an interview. Kinda sucks that in the animal health field, we are still not even considered on par with "human" care, hence were often asked for more work, more days, and less time for ourselves. Which is why I'm kinda keeping the search bar more refined.
On the artistic side, seems like I'm making progress in learning not just more on my digital art program, but on how to handle my graphics tablet, and even some regular art exercises. Progress has been a bit slow but to me juggling with other life issues and game streaming. Have been trying to stream my art progress, mainly on Twitch, since I'm gamer as well. Kinda also looking at other arts on the sides to improve my own style. Hopefully will move on to a whole different project, but hardly to the project I have in mind. Mostly cuz of juggling career stuff. But will make an effort to turn that part of my dream into reality. As such, only for practicing, am keeping my commission stuff open (while I don't expect ppl to take em until I start showing more).
On my furry side, slowing getting anxious to my first fur con at FE. I So far i only know 1 fur IRL, but we don't live close enough. Stuck on emotional dilemma since I would like to meet many furs I have come to watch for ages, but kinda not setting a bar too high. For me, friendship and stuff has always been an issue for me. Mostly cuz I lived my life not fitting in any of the groups and cultures I have been. Combined with a overdue diagnosis of ADHD (adding to some other emotional trauma, which I'm seeing a therapist), can't say that I'm kinda scared that I may end up more isolated because of the way I am. Especially since in many ways, I don't want to be a bother to others. However, I chose to make this new step. The first step is always the hardest one. If anything am trying to get over is my immense self-doubt and low self-worth. I still have time, and I'm still alive. Maybe its not an ideal world, but "we build it up every day, step by step".
At the very least, to turn this on a positive note, have been doing my best to support other furries, be it game or art streamers, as much as I can. Trying also to connect to other furries through the same way. At the very least seeing what they can do through other streaming services like Picarto. Or just enjoy some chat/movie time on Discord or Kast (even though I just mostly silently lurk... kinda my 2nd nature). Still, when I know my help and support has bore fruit, I still feel happy that I took part, even though a small one. Although, am also hoping just to get a slight level of support back, mostly for FE. Placed a donation bar on my streams, at least until I can secure a job. I'm a good saver, so am not in deep red, but still... no income hurts... especially when eating costs.
Anyways, sorry for a bit of a vent, but trying also to be a more active in the furry community. I will try to offer as much support and a paw whenever I get a chance. For those going to FE, hope to see you there.
(PS: if this job interview is a no go, I may try to get to BLFC... if I can find good prices)
Chibity
<3
Diafragma
~diafragma
You're improving bit by bit everyday Vrei!
